ZZZoooomm.....that's the sound of a passing weekend...

zooooom....yeah that's how the weekend went....try saying that out....zzzoooom.......yeah it makes a nice sound...living it is slightly tougher....

Had plans to study. The operative word being "had". It didn't turn out as expected. Bloody assignments. It's tough being a student again. I thought IMT was the last I had seen of books. I don't really like those fat, coloured things teasing me from the bookshelf. Trust me, they are monsters in themselves and they throw up the bait every day as if saying "Come have me if you can." And poor me I keep thinking I'll win and try going after them everyday. Buggers they have been winning over me for this past week.

Interestingly over the weekend, I realised I had a few responsibilities towards a few people in life. I don't really know how could I have missed out on those. I was too involved in my personal issues for the past 9 years. Yup, June 9, 1998 it was when failure first hit me. I just went into my personal shell and was just too reluctant to come out after that. Failures just became a routine after that. I'd like to believe I'm blessed. Aiming for the moon, I usually landed amongst the stars. But in all of this, I left behind a few people who may have needed me at times. Yeah, I like the sound of it..."needed me"...:). I guess I have to take it up now. It's been too long that I have lived this lonely selfish life. I want to go back now. I have to help a few people find their way. I don't really know if I am needed anymore but what the heck, I'll try and do it anyway.

I am not enjoying ISB. Usually happens with me everywhere. I didn't like college for almost an year. I hated IMT the first year. Ahmedabad was hell for the first 6 months. I take my time getting used to places and liking them. I just have one year here...I hope I begin to start liking this place before I leave. At times I feel I am stopping myself from enjoying a few things, which I think I can enjoy. But I really am reluctant to leave my shell and walk out. I have been having long restive sleeps. I don't know if that makes sense but that's the way it's been. I have been sleeping long hours but am not sleeping well.

Maybe my mind needs a few responsibilities to get into combat mode. I think I have had a lazy, "I care a damn" life for too long. I need to get back into action. I have made a mental note of a few things I need to do on a regular basis. Let's see if I can keep to it.They told me I owe it to a few people. I hate this owing business...but ok let's give it a try....