man is a stupid animal. And the stupidity derives from his intelligence. Wow, i am not fit to write this at this moment....but what the heck...who's gonna read it neways
well am home in delhi...in this crazy season called winter but the best part is the sunshine i get in the balcony....
the day before we had a badboys get-together...well a really small one....with S, Addy, P and me. I was looking forward to it...had not P for a long time (if we discount the skype chats from china)...and moreso cos I had not had a drink for a long long time....
but things have changed....it was not the same IMT style gathering.....we have moved beyond beautiful songs and ghalib's shayari....fair enuff....evrything has its life...but the new topics were something which made me uncomfortable.....'twas money....with five million dollar wine bills and 'leven thousand mobile bills discussed or rather flaunted....it was not the usual badboys bakar...and did i forget the case of two "dudes" who started as roommates moved on got married...got divorced and are back as roommates again...all in an year or so...the focus was all on the new lifestyle that the new money was bringing....and i just could not relate to it....it was not the others were approving of it...but they were accepting it at face value and were able to be indifferent towards it....i somehow couldn't....yeah i am a weakling...hah
i childhood there are things that are "strictly forbidden"...there are a few amongst these that most of us try out...but then there is a tiny group one understands would not be forgiven and we learn to live without it....the problem is that as much as i try and believe that i am open to new ideas the list i have built for myself is fairly long....the world today believes in shortening this list and i am too old fashioned or maybe too weak to shorten it.....but then i enjoy what i do...which may also include criticising a few things in my "strictly forbidden" list.....comeon we all like to believe money is not the thing...or atleast thats how it was in college....but the others could make strong statements putting money above all else.....
i have serious thoughts about not going to ISB now....i don't want money to be foremost....and i have not paid the acceptance deposit till now....:)....yeah 30th is the last date.....
and the day after P missed his flight to Patna....was with him till around 7 in the evening trying to get him into a train...finally managed to have him seated outside the toilet (on his bag) in sleeper class....gawd....that was one tough journey.....but then if i go to ISB would i be able to spend those hours with him....
and the day after i sat in the sunshine for 6-7 hours....reading a novel....or atleast trying to...gawd could life be better.....you read a para....close your eyes..catch a nap for five mins....and then read the next para...and doing it for 7 hours with no worry in the world.....and in those small naps dreaming of the fortune you are going to make when the days change.....and joining ISB would probably take away that dream that chance to sit in the sunshine.....that novel....i want to linger on with.....wats the point????.....but the hard fact is that i would have to join ISB....resist as I may......peer pressure is bound to get the better of me....i am real weak there...
but then someone suggested try and find a way out of the mess but to do that you need to enter the mess once.....yeah all this can be avoided....but then how'd i know that avoiding the mess was better unless i come through it....:)
Tuesday, December 26, 2006
Friday, December 15, 2006
Got it....
Got it??...or is it them who got me..??...yeah the ISB results came out today...and they have selected me....:)
it's kindda funny...i thought i'd be happy...not that i'm not...but the feeling of relief is what beats everything else...i've come a long way since Symbiosis rejected me....yeah they did....and did i hate my MCA.....now they welcome me to the b-school that has come out tops in the placement ranks the past two years.....do i love life's sense of humour or what....
a funny thought did pass through my mind today...now that i have proved what i wanted to (to god knows whom)....whats the point joining ISB...i'm happy with ....my job in RBI....andwith the money i get...... i can certainly do without a bigass loan....Dad says i'm scared of heights....nah...i am not....par phir bhi kabhi kabhi mere dil mein khayaal aata hai.
i've not been so tense for a really long time.....infact i can recall only once before this and that was when infatuation hit me and i made a fool of myself.....but the result has done enough to allow me to have a peaceful sleep for the first time in the past 2 weeks.
there's a lot i want to express tonight but it will just rake up stupid painful memories...i guess its enough for today.
it's kindda funny...i thought i'd be happy...not that i'm not...but the feeling of relief is what beats everything else...i've come a long way since Symbiosis rejected me....yeah they did....and did i hate my MCA.....now they welcome me to the b-school that has come out tops in the placement ranks the past two years.....do i love life's sense of humour or what....
a funny thought did pass through my mind today...now that i have proved what i wanted to (to god knows whom)....whats the point joining ISB...i'm happy with ....my job in RBI....andwith the money i get...... i can certainly do without a bigass loan....Dad says i'm scared of heights....nah...i am not....par phir bhi kabhi kabhi mere dil mein khayaal aata hai.
i've not been so tense for a really long time.....infact i can recall only once before this and that was when infatuation hit me and i made a fool of myself.....but the result has done enough to allow me to have a peaceful sleep for the first time in the past 2 weeks.
there's a lot i want to express tonight but it will just rake up stupid painful memories...i guess its enough for today.
Friday, December 08, 2006
kids growin up !!!!!!....
yeah i know the heading is crappy, but then what the heck, it made sense to me these 30 seconds back and i'm now too lazy to change it. Was reading the blog of a teenager sometime back and the poor soul is trying to justify her decision of taking up a field of study to herself. hmmm...good penning down thoughts helps one organise thoughts better....but what the heck its 4 months to the boards....crap .....have the kids of today stopped running away from schools & studies???....have those goddamn books & teachers taken over the fun of these youngsters????
i don't know about them but my decision to opt for Commerce over science was pretty simple....S.....a one year senior friend...flunked in maths while trying to cover up for physics after taking up Science...and worst of all after missing our midnight walks for a week.....what the crap...i knew i didn't want to miss my walks......the 2 hours of playing cricket....and all the other stupid stuff to some goddamn physics/chemistry books....and as it was the best didn't come to commerce so it made my job of being in the top 5 in the class with minimal of efforts much more easier.....gawd it was a fabulous deal....fun for two years in school and....a chance to compete against mediocres ( i know its a cruel word...but what the heck...i ain't going to heaven anyways)...
At many stages i realised the sheer brilliance of my mind and a queer goodluck the decision brought...
they say science helps on logical building and the crap...aaahhh...i say playing cricket...scheming with friends...trying to get someone's phone numbers from telephone linemen without paying a bribe helps build better & useful logic....don't we live with humans and not machines....honestly i've won more battles against computers by thinking like a human than with sheer logic....:)..."Fool it like a human" that's what my quotation board in the Department of IT says...And honestly i can compete with any goddamn science graduate on logic....
but i guess i am digressing from the point...the thing is why are today's kids growing up so fast???....thinking of decisions which have to be taken after almost 8 months....pressure it is...from parents....friends...teachers ( i never liked the ones at school...there was this lady who wanted me to study for atleast six hours a day in 9th standard...poor sadist)....but more importantly its the desire to lead a good life in materialistic terms...and what withn ewspapers being thurst down kids throats at schools( i don't remember reading anything beyond the sports page throughout my school life...i still read the paper from the last page...:)) and they reading about the salaries being earned by freshers.....the newest models of cars being discussed in discussions at schools....these fortune pocket moneys...aaah...they want it for themselves and thus the stupid thoughts of careers in minds of 15 year olds....
come on guys...if u make ur career now when wud you have that stolen cigarette, that first peg of whisky, the first shave and the hesitant look into the mirror after that, the discussion about girls, the 15 rupee weekly trip to the burger wala....life is not supposed to begin at 15...
Yeah these are all the undesirable side effects of shining India....comeon someone take away some of the shine and give back kids the fun-years...
i don't know about them but my decision to opt for Commerce over science was pretty simple....S.....a one year senior friend...flunked in maths while trying to cover up for physics after taking up Science...and worst of all after missing our midnight walks for a week.....what the crap...i knew i didn't want to miss my walks......the 2 hours of playing cricket....and all the other stupid stuff to some goddamn physics/chemistry books....and as it was the best didn't come to commerce so it made my job of being in the top 5 in the class with minimal of efforts much more easier.....gawd it was a fabulous deal....fun for two years in school and....a chance to compete against mediocres ( i know its a cruel word...but what the heck...i ain't going to heaven anyways)...
At many stages i realised the sheer brilliance of my mind and a queer goodluck the decision brought...
they say science helps on logical building and the crap...aaahhh...i say playing cricket...scheming with friends...trying to get someone's phone numbers from telephone linemen without paying a bribe helps build better & useful logic....don't we live with humans and not machines....honestly i've won more battles against computers by thinking like a human than with sheer logic....:)..."Fool it like a human" that's what my quotation board in the Department of IT says...And honestly i can compete with any goddamn science graduate on logic....
but i guess i am digressing from the point...the thing is why are today's kids growing up so fast???....thinking of decisions which have to be taken after almost 8 months....pressure it is...from parents....friends...teachers ( i never liked the ones at school...there was this lady who wanted me to study for atleast six hours a day in 9th standard...poor sadist)....but more importantly its the desire to lead a good life in materialistic terms...and what withn ewspapers being thurst down kids throats at schools( i don't remember reading anything beyond the sports page throughout my school life...i still read the paper from the last page...:)) and they reading about the salaries being earned by freshers.....the newest models of cars being discussed in discussions at schools....these fortune pocket moneys...aaah...they want it for themselves and thus the stupid thoughts of careers in minds of 15 year olds....
come on guys...if u make ur career now when wud you have that stolen cigarette, that first peg of whisky, the first shave and the hesitant look into the mirror after that, the discussion about girls, the 15 rupee weekly trip to the burger wala....life is not supposed to begin at 15...
Yeah these are all the undesirable side effects of shining India....comeon someone take away some of the shine and give back kids the fun-years...
Saturday, December 02, 2006
(g)rumblings....
so am at it again....been 10-12 days since i last made my last contribution to blogosphere where every a**hole becomes a writer....yeah even i live in the eternal hope that someone would read it someday...
Life's in a flux...or is it fluid!!!...crap...i hate these waits....ummm..yeah i am waiting for something and hopefully should know the result by mid december....CAT's been okayish this year...i think i am on the edge on one of the sections again...let's see....
our RD retired this last month....well she's ( or was) the whole & sole incharge of the financial system in Gujarat....atleast the part that is regulated...the ketan parekhs of the world obviously have no masters....nice lady...lot of goodwill....and being the miser am in praising others...i seriously think...if i retire with half those many well wishers...boy i'd have done soem good work....let's leave it there....
what else....am struggling against a few "stubbornly in coma" servers....have to set up a website...and have to install a system of funds transfers for banks....whoops...soem work in the next two weeks....but i am in no men tal shape to do it....told ya hate these waits....
have bought 6 books in the last two weeks...have read just once...so lots to do....
bas yaar...aur kuch nahi hai likhne ko.....dunno know why i wrote the above but i guess RD retiring did warrant a record...i'd like to read it some 35 years later...:)
Life's in a flux...or is it fluid!!!...crap...i hate these waits....ummm..yeah i am waiting for something and hopefully should know the result by mid december....CAT's been okayish this year...i think i am on the edge on one of the sections again...let's see....
our RD retired this last month....well she's ( or was) the whole & sole incharge of the financial system in Gujarat....atleast the part that is regulated...the ketan parekhs of the world obviously have no masters....nice lady...lot of goodwill....and being the miser am in praising others...i seriously think...if i retire with half those many well wishers...boy i'd have done soem good work....let's leave it there....
what else....am struggling against a few "stubbornly in coma" servers....have to set up a website...and have to install a system of funds transfers for banks....whoops...soem work in the next two weeks....but i am in no men tal shape to do it....told ya hate these waits....
have bought 6 books in the last two weeks...have read just once...so lots to do....
bas yaar...aur kuch nahi hai likhne ko.....dunno know why i wrote the above but i guess RD retiring did warrant a record...i'd like to read it some 35 years later...:)
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